I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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