cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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