True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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