i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
