she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
