Only a mothe r could love this liver
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
