he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
