..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
