the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
