Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Houston, we have a squirter
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize