I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
