Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
