His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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