Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize