his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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