Having a random hookup so left but love u
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
