I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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