Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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