i jhust puked up my retainher.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
