does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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