NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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