So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
