I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am available for nakedness
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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