Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
