you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
