He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
