Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My penis needs a shock collar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
