Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
