Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So here I am, sexting at work.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
