If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Welp...herpes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
