Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
