What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
