my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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