Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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