You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
