with your own penis?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
