you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What a dumb baby whore.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
