So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize