It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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