Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
