I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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