Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
