I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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