I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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