Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If that was your dad, he is hot
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
