Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
