i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just pee around me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
