So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
