Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
