Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize