i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize