It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
