at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
