Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
