i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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