Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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