i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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