i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will be naked everywhere
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
